


Purpose

by nextraordinaire



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Charles Being Concerned, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, Insomnia, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:51:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nextraordinaire/pseuds/nextraordinaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one in which Erik can't sleep, Raven tries to help and Charles is concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [oh, what I wouldn't do (for you)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064642) by [canistakahari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canistakahari/pseuds/canistakahari). 



> Thanks to canistakahari, for letting me use her idea!

That first night, Charles didn't think too much of it. Sleeping in new places was usually not a problem for Erik – the abundance of hotel rooms over the years had probably remedied that a long time ago, if it ever was a problem. But the mansion and sharing a bed was something wholly different from what he’d done all his life, so Charles gave him the benefit of a doubt.

For one, it was probably too quiet. No rustling from unwillingly restless sleepers, no groaning from their willing counterparts and no screaming could be heard through the walls of their room. There was the occasional creaking floorboard, but it was an old house, but they were so few and far between that they couldn’t possibly be keeping Erik awake. Second of all, it wasn't temporary. Since Cuba went down, Erik hadn’t known where else to go, but when Charles had said that he wanted to stay and make the mansion a safe haven for mutant kids, a place where they could learn how to handle their abilities in peace, Erik had nodded and decided to stay.

And now, he apparently couldn't sleep.

When grey light began to trickle in from behind the thick curtains and Erik merely had tossed and turned and kept him awake for the better part of the night, Charles was more annoyed than worried. They’d both been through worse, and it wasn't like either of them hadn't run thirty-six hours without sleep before. However, it was to be said that the other times Charles had had a distinct reason (mostly exams) for pushing himself to his limits, while this time it only had to do with Erik’s stupid restlessness. Charles hadn’t said anything all night, but by four o'clock in the morning, Erik seemed to decide that it was better to do something worthwhile with his energy and went out for an extra-long morning run – finally letting Charles go to sleep.

Keeping his promise of staying out of Erik’s mind, Charles only followed his presence as it ran around the ground before he let go and managed to go to sleep.

He woke when Erik came back, sweat steadily going cool on his skin in the rain-laden morning air, because his buzzing presence was the only thing not dead to the world. Raven was usually the first one to wake up apart from Erik, but for her to get up at five o’clock was still pushing it.

Just as easily as he'd sneaked out, he went inside. Snuck up the stairs, took a shower, and laid down beside Charles again – who was floating somewhere between sleep and consciousness by then. He felt a hand pet his hair, before a dimmed light came on and the soft rustling of pages turning took over. Erik’s breathing was a steady rhythm beside him, and he felt himself being pulled back to sleep.

And that was it.

*

Or at least that was what he’d thought.

The next night, it started all over again.

“Please, Erik, would you stop squirming?”  


“It’s too hot.”  


“A minute ago, you were too cold” Charles informed him as he turned over to face the ever-moving, blanket-covered lump. “I think I’d be easier for you to go to sleep if you’d try to be still.”  


“Well, I’ve tried that and it didn’t exactly help” was the testy reply, but then Erik did turn around to face him. The lines between his eyebrows were prominent even in the dark. Charles rubbed his thumb over them, trying to smooth them out.  


“Come here. I’ll help you with that.”  


Taking Erik by the shoulders, Charles pulled him into a tight hug. He winded his arms around Erik’s ribcage and buried his face in his hair. It was a little damp from the exertion tossing and turning all night would generate.  


Erik mumbled, “This is not helping with the ‘too hot’-part, you know.”  


“You don’t want to try some sleeping aid?”  


Erik squinted up at him. “Like pills?”  


“Yes.”  


“No. Can’t trust ‘em.”  


“Would you like me to help you then?”  


“What do you mean?”  


Charles sighed at the suspicion in the words. “Well, use my telepathy to put you to sleep.”  


“No. I… I think this’ll be enough” Erik said softly against his chest, his lips catching on the worn-out fabric of his t-shirt.  


Charles nodded against his hair.  


Rearranging his position, Erik slung an arm around Charles’ waist and began to settle in. His breathing evened out and he became all pliant and loose, and Charles smiled a bit to himself before he slipped off to sleep.  


But he woke up the next morning only to find that Erik hadn’t slept at all.  


*  


And it continued like that.  


At breakfast three days later, Erik gulped down four cups of coffee instead of his usual one with a frown to be reckoned with. He had dark-purple circles under his eyes, and Charles had once again woken up to a cold bed. The super-early morning runs were starting to become a commodity, but Charles hadn’t said anything. Not yet.  


While Erik was pouring up the third one, he sent him a raised eyebrow from across the table, but Erik ignored it. Yesterday, Erik had dropped a stack of books while they were re-arranging the library because he was shaking so much due to the overdose of caffeine. Seeing Erik’s thunderous expression though, Charles figured it wasn’t worth fighting over.  


“You know Lensherr; I would kind of appreciate if you’d wait for me in the mornings. You now, once in a while?” Raven drawled from beside him, glass of orange juice halfway to her mouth when Erik made the coffee pot float over to him for the fourth time.  


Erik shook his head at her. “Get up earlier. Problem solved” he gritted out, patience worn even shorter than usual. Charles tried to catch his eye, but Erik didn’t pay him any attention.  


“I got up at half past five today. Which is your usual time” she said back at him with a blank expression. “And by then you were already done. Showered and dressed-done.”  


The coffee pot wobbled in the air, the metal handle rippling as Erik’s control slipped. Charles shot him an alarmed look, before looking over at Raven with wide eyes; silently telling her to leave it before something broke. Raven pursed her lips in disappointment.  


She put up her hands. “Just sayin’.”  


Erik replied by aggressively drinking his coffee and went up even earlier the next morning.  


*  


The children properly caught up with the problem the day after.  


Charles was sitting on the stonewall in the backyard with Raven and Hank, who were quietly observing Sean and Alex’s experiment concerning whether or not Sean’s sonar could deflect the Alex’ plasma beams, when the door behind them slammed open.  


All three of them whirled around at the sound, only to reveal an angry-looking Erik, who took one look at Charles before he made a bee-line for Raven.  


“Oh shit” Raven muttered.  


“What?” Hank asked, always oblivious.  


Charles shot her a confused look. “Oh my – Raven, what did you do?”  


“Nothing!” she cried, “It was only for his own good, goddamnit!”  


Charles started to say something, but he couldn’t say anything before Erik had already gripped Raven around the back of the neck, bending it backwards so that she was forced to look him in the eyes – which by now were bloodshot and circled with skin that was almost black.  


“I will fucking skin you, you little brat!” he growled out, ignoring both Raven’s shriek and Hank’s hostile snarl.  


The locket that Raven worn suddenly grew tighter around her neck, cutting of her air supple and Hank got to his feet.  


“Let her go now!” Hank growled warningly, putting a clawed hand on Erik’s chest as the ruckus caused Alex and Sean to come running.  


Erik didn’t bother with either of them.  


“I tell you, you’ll wish you’d never been born when I’m done with you! I don’t want your fucking pity, and I sure as hell don’t need your fucking help!” he shouted at Raven, whose hands were clawing at her compressed windpipe. She was losing control and her scaled blue skin emerged.  


“Erik, stop!” Charles shouted, just before Hank grabbed Erik by the wrist and twisted it around until he let Raven go. Her locket was still digging into the skin of her neck.  


“Don’t make me force you; let her go!”  


That, at least, had some effect. The chain fell from Raven’s neck and as she gasped for breath, Charles turned to Erik, who was still furious, his eyes trained on Raven as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. Charles knew that it was only the impending threat of having his mind invaded that was stopping him from tearing into her.  


“Why did you do that?”  


“She turned into you and tried to sneak sleeping pills into my coffee” Erik retorted through gritted teeth. Charles closed his eyes.  


“He’s so fucking irritable - I had to do something!” Raven shouted.  


“I thought we’d thrown all of the pills away” Charles said to her, and after glancing over at Hank, who suddenly looked a bit sheepish, she straightened her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest.  


“The recipe is still useable. I drove into town yesterday to get some more.”  


“Which was a waste of time – I don’t need drugs to sleep!” Erik then snapped, lips drawn back to show every tooth in his head.  


“Well excuse me for not wanting to bother with your insufferable ass any longer! If you don’t need drugs, then go the fuck to sleep!”  


She turned on her heel and stomped into the house, Hank close behind. Alex and Sean, who’d quietly watched the whole scene, slinked after them with the minimum amount of fuss.  


Charles looked after them, before he turned back to Erik.  


“How did you know it was her?” he asked.  


Erik shrugged. “The coffee smelled different, and I told you I didn’t want any pills.”  


“Oh.” He couldn’t help them smile that crept upon him. “Well, you’ll be left alone in my study – if you want to try to get some sleep.”  


Erik snorted, but he did go back into the house. Charles could only hope the children stayed out of his way.  


*  


It had been nine days since Erik had slept. When he talked, he slurred and he had trouble walking straight. He was getting more and more violent, he had no patience and he’d also stopped with the morning runs altogether, much to Raven’s dismay. But Charles knew that there was no way in which Erik would admit that he was barely holding on, and he also knew that the longest measured time the human body could go without sleep was eleven days. He had no desire to see if Erik and his mutant one could make it beyond that.  


“I might have an idea to make you go to sleep.”  


“What.”  


Erik’s reply wasn’t so much a question as a flat grunt.  


“Sex is good for improving sleep, you know. It releases a lot of substances that helps with the process. It takes pressure off and –”  


“I know” Erik snapped.  


Charles frowned. “Why haven’t you asked then?”  


“This is hell. I’m too tired to move” Erik grumbled, let out a deep sigh and tried to burrow his face further into the pillow.  


“You don’t have to do anything” Charles whispered to him before he leant down and pressed his nose to the back of Erik’s neck. His breaths lightly stirred the dark hairs there as his hand travelled up and down Erik’s back.  


Erik sighed. “Oh, fuck it.”  


“Do you want to?”  


“Yes.”  


“Turn over then.”  


Erik let out a quiet breath and then with Charles help, very slowly turned onto his hide. Charles ran a hand down his back and then slipped it under the hem of Erik’s t-shirt; smiling as the hard muscles moved under smooth skin and the occasional scar as he shifted a bit.  


With his hands already under the t-shirt, Charles pulled it off of Erik, before he did the same with himself. He flung both the shirts onto the floor. Their pants went the same way, and Erik didn’t make a sound through the whole ordeal.  


“You alright?” Charles then asked and brushed his forehead against the back of Erik’s head.  


“Just get on with it, will you?”  


“Alright.”  


Bracing himself on one arm, Charles leant over Erik and reached for the bedside drawer. To open it was easy enough, and he took just a moment to coat his fingers with the lube before discarding it under a pillow. He drew back the duvet for a bit, and then kissed Erik’s shoulder. There were now freckles slightly lighter than his hair all over them that Charles hadn’t really noticed before. He dragged his lips over the skin before burying his nose in the crook of Erik’s neck, breathing in deeply. Under him, Erik sighed again.  


“I’ll fall asleep if you don’t hurry up” he grumbled, and Charles bit his shoulder in retort.  


Charles nipped down his spine and worked in a thigh between his legs as well, feeling the heat there and how Erik had gone hard despite being so deprived of sleep. Charles smoothed a hand down his side, over his ribs and waist, stopped at his hip for a bit to dig his fingers in hard as a promise of what was to come, before he dipped lower and worked two of his fingers in.  


As always, a shudder crawled up Erik’s body at the first intrusion and when Charles carefully scissored the fingers open, a muffled gasp soon followed. Charles twisted them around to loosen him, withdrew and soon pushed three fingers in. He thrust them back and forth until Erik impatiently pushed back against him, gave his prostate a nudge that almost drew a whimper from him, before he pulled them out completely. By then, Erik was shifting his hips restlessly, so he quickly applied some more lube, then gripped Erik’s waist in one hand and guided himself in with the other.  


Erik hissed as he clenched around him, almost making Charles’ brain shut down completely. He was so incredibly tight and hot; hips squirming to get the right angle and breaths coming in staggered gasps. Charles had to wind an arm around his heaving chest so that he could thrust into him properly, pressing his forehead against Erik’s shoulder as he pushed in. The other hand he curled around Erik’s sweaty forehead for leverage. Hips slotted and sliding against each other, Charles rolled Erik onto his stomach and pushed forward a bit, until he was buried as deep as he could. Erik shuddered beneath him, breaths coming out in harsh pants, and Charles kissed his shoulder in reconciliation.  


When Erik started rocking back against him and breathing grew into hitched sobs of desperation, Charles took pity on him. He ran his thumb against the slit and spreading the pre-cum that had gathered there, making Erik clench down on him again. Then he stroked him with a fast and rough pace until Erik’s whole back tensed and he came; groaning and clenching down so impossibly hard around him that Charles saw stars.  


It only took a few more thrusts before that coil of warmth exploded through Charles and he came as well. Erik let out displeased noise when he slumped down on top of him, pressing their warm bodies together.  


He carefully pulled out of Erik, and then dragged both of them into the middle of the bed. Erik was still panting from the exertion and having his lungs pressed thin, but his limbs were so loose and satisfied that Charles had no trouble spooning behind him and nuzzling the sweaty curls at the back of his neck. Erik let out a deep sigh, and ran his hand over Charles’ hip.  


“That was good, wasn’t it?” Charles asked him, but Erik just swatted at him.  


“Shut up and let me sleep” he said with an airy laugh, so that was what Charles did.  


*  


Charles woke a couple of hours later only to find that Erik was gone. The spot on the right side of the bed had no lingering body heat, so he’d also been away for some time.  


Turning over with a groan, he looked at the clock. It was barely three in the morning. With another disgruntled sound he fell back against the pillows. Swiftly reaching out, he registered that the mansion was fast asleep – as it should be – apart from one buzzing mind on the first floor. So he put on his robe to go and coax Erik into coming back to bed.  


He was halfway down the stairs when a loud, piercing screech followed by the sound of spraying water sounded from somewhere to his right. The direction of the kitchen.  


“Erik?” he called out, but when no answer came he set off down the hall.  


Once in the kitchen, he stopped dead on the doorstep.  


It was a disaster. A fine layer of mortar dust coated the tiled floor and cabinet doors as the old pipes above the sink somehow had decided to come out of the wall like a bad surprise party. Since the plumbing was old, two of the pipes had cracked and was spraying water all over; covering half of the room in a fine mist which, together with the fluorescent lights above the sink, created a rainbow out of nothing. A few of the other pipes had just bent into sharp spikes, but it was really the tap that was the most prominently damaged. It had twisted around itself in a spiral shape so it was now shooting water straight up in the ceiling. The knob on the right hand side had melted down completely, while the left side was surprisingly intact.  


And Erik, still dressed in his pyjamas, was standing in the midst of it all. He was leaning heavily against the counter, hands splayed on the countertop and head bowed between his shoulders as he rocked back and forth in apparent distress. The bones in his back was poking out, stretching the dark blue fabric on his t-shirt, and he only shot Charles a quick look when he entered before ducking his head back again.  


“What –”  


“There’s no hot water. Heater seems to be out, so I tried heatin’ it up,” Erik explained hoarsely, but didn’t look up. Charles nodded.  


“It’s alright. It’s nothing we can’t fix,” he said softly, but Erik shook his head before Charles even had finished the sentence, and then scrubbed a hand over his face. He still wouldn’t look at Charles.  


Without trying to calculate if Erik’s reaction might be violent, Charles put a hand on his shoulder and carefully tried to steer him away from the mess. The front of his dark t-shirt was also covered in mortar dust, but Erik wouldn’t move an inch.  


“I can’t…” he started, but fell silent.  


“Can’t what?”  


Bowing his head even further down, Erik heaved a loud breath that was almost akin to a sob. “Fix it… I need to…”  


“Erik, I said it’s fine. It’s no big deal – we’ll deal with this tomorrow, alright?”  


Erik’s hand dropped from the counter to limply hang by his side, and his whole body seemed to curl in on itself despite him not moving at all. Charles swallowed.  


“I can’t… I’m not…” he said after a moment, staring stubbornly at the floor and curled his arms around his stomach as if it was hurting. There was also something so final in those words that it made something in Charles own stomach stir unnervingly.  


“I’m just so fuckin’ tired, Charles” Erik then said and stretched out his hand in front of him.  


And then Charles saw. From the tips of Erik’s fingers and all the way up to his shoulder, fine tremors made the whole arm shake just from the struggle of keeping it up, and suddenly it made sense that the attempt with the pipes had went down like it had. If Erik was so out of control of his own body, then he wouldn’t have half of his usual control over his mutation. It was pure luck that he hadn’t taken the whole house down with him.  


And therefore there was no avoiding it any longer – Erik needed help. And he needed it now.  


“Erik. Come on, let’s go back to bed” Charles tried again, taking Erik by the elbow and as gently as possible. This time, however, Erik was so pliant that Charles easily could usher him out of the kitchen, up the stairs and back into their room. He didn’t even protest when Charles pushed him down in his vacated spot and pulled the duvet up – he just stared straight forward with a dead look in his eyes.  


Charles lay down beside him.  


“Erik?” he asked tentatively.  


Erik just closed his eyes in reply.  


“May I share my sleep with you?”  


“What?”  


“I mean, may I enter you mind and link it with mine during the night, so that we have the same sleep pattern?”  


Beside him, Erik stiffened.  


“I’m not certain, but I think it might help. And – no, don’t go!”  


It was pure luck that he managed to grab Erik by the elbow as he rolled over and got up from the bed again.  


“Erik, love, listen. You are dying. You have to let go – please let me help you! I wouldn’t read your thoughts; I would only see a hint of your emotions, which are not rational during sleep. There is a chance that it might make me just as restless as you, but I have a feeling it will work the opposite way. I am, after all, a pretty heavy sleeper.”  


He scanned Erik’s face, trying his best to get a read of the man without using his telepathy. It was not easy since Erik’s face was just as blank as always, but Charles knew how important it was to stay out from his mind I particular, so he just waited.  


It took another moment, but then Erik shifted his stance a bit. “You promise you won’t read my mind?” he gritted out, but Charles could barely hide his smile.  


“Not your thoughts. I’d only see a hint of your emotions, and during sleep, they are often highly irrational” he repeated, and hoped to God that Raven had been honest when she’d said he could just barely feel Charles in his head.  


When she had posed the idea as a final attempt to make Erik go the fuck to sleep, all of the other children – he really needed to stop calling them that – had agreed to act as lab rats for the experiment, just to get Erik under control. So that was what Charles had done. They all said they hadn’t felt him, and Charles himself had only gotten the barest hint of emotion from all of them. Well, except from the shouted “catch that goat!” projected from one of Cassidy’s dreams, but that was only the exception that defined the rule.  


Erik shifted back and forth for a bit, before he jerkily turned around and lay down again, as if he would run if he didn’t. “Alright. You’ve got one shot. If it doesn’t work, or I see that you’ve read my mind, it’s done. No more chances” he said, and looked Charles hard in the eyes. “And don’t make me sleep for a week.”  


Charles swallowed, but nodded before he lay down on his side and laid Erik’s head on his shoulder; hugging it close and deliberately putting two fingers against his own temple. Erik flinched, but Charles held him still, focusing on relaxing his own body. He put his other arm around Erik’s waist as he reached out with his mind.  


“Tell me what you’re doing” Erik said against the fabric of Charles’ shirt as Charles closed his eyes.  


“I’m accessing my hypothalamus to make myself sleepy. I’ll tell you when I start creating the link.”  


Without even looking, Charles could tell that Erik was frowning. Considering how the last few days had been, he was probably coming up with yet another paranoid train of thought. So he tried to hurry up. He’d done this a few times when he was younger, but now his movements were so refined that he managed only to nudge the sleep-regulating centre in his brain - causing him to become comfortably sleepy, instead of knocking himself out for a good twenty-four hours.  


When he was satisfied, he reached out again; carefully brushing against Erik’s mind.  


_Erik?_  


As usual, there were walls. Gleaming, metallic, mile high walls that were so fiercely guarded that they reflected everything Charles thought right back at him. He almost got lost in himself, before he could regain his focus and tried the vocal approach.  


“Erik? Let go.”  


Erik, who had his eyes clenched tight, slowly shook his head and tried to bury it further into his chest. His movements were sluggish as he also put his arms around Charles and hugged him close.  


“Let me in – I promise I won’t look” Charles said, and cupped his hand around Erik’s neck. He brushed his thumb over a sharp cheekbone and the thin, bruised skin under a closed eyelid. Erik let out a sigh.  


_Trust me this once, love._  


Charles reached out again, and suddenly, the walls fell. He had to rein himself in tight, so that he wouldn’t break his promise, because now Erik’s mind wasn’t the beautiful lines, angles and dark light it had been last time he’d let Charles in, but rather a distorted jumble of half-formed thoughts, darkness and desperation that had yet to meet its equal.  


Standing there on the edge and just watching it, Charles could only compare it to a black, swirling abyss that would take Erik and every imposter in his mind with it if he didn’t go to sleep anytime soon.  


He was just about to draw back when a series of images and thoughts unlatched from somewhere and sucked him in.  


_there’s nothing nothing why am I here nothing why how can he think that I’m good enough I can’t do this what am I supposed to do there’s nothing for me here it’s too quiet how can they stand it what do he need me for I can’t do this they are good there is no need for -_  


Charles abruptly pulled back. Erik still had his eyes closed, but Charles knew that he was aware of what had just happened. His shoulders were tense. Charles very carefully cupped his face in his hands.  


“You do have a purpose, Erik. You are so much more than what you think he made you into. If you can’t see that now, it’s alright, but please believe me when I say that I _need_ you.”  


_I could show you, too, but it probably wouldn’t make any difference_ , he then added.  


Erik was still for a moment, but then he nodded. It was stiff, but Charles knew hoped that there might be a chance some of the words had gotten to Erik. If it hadn’t, well, then he at least knew what Erik needed.  


So after pressing a chaste kiss to Erik’s forehead, he latched his sleepy mind with that whirling monster, and felt how it got sucked into the swirl. There was a yank, and it was tempting to follow, but instead of going further into Erik’s mind, he simply gave his own hypothalamus another nudge and sent them both into a long, dearly awaited sleep.  


*  


Charles woke up a few hours later, ate breakfast at a reasonable hour with the rest of the kids and then helped them clean up in the kitchen. The maid who’d come in had just fainted on the spot when she’d seen what had happened, so they took care of it themselves.  


Erik slept.  


*  


The next day, they continued and finished to re-arrange the library on the second floor.  


Erik slept.  


*  


Erik woke up two days later; well-rested and in his default grumpy mood.  


And if the reason for Erik being completely out of it for the better part of those two days had anything to do with that Charles, nobody knew.  


But if he did, it was definitely nothing more than a mysterious coincidence.


End file.
